Do the things that will produce results.
I have had conversations with some people that I did not like there behavior and essentially told a relating story where they could connect the dots themselves and not be hurt or feel a criticism and thought they understood the message. Sometimes I have spent 8 hours talking with someone about an issue…. Only later to find out they did something similar that kind of proved they did not understand or take seriously the message.
So, once I spent a day talking about it, and then it happened again, I was only even more frustrated because they didn’t get the message, I felt like I was lied too. Sometimes it seems like they just thought they could say the right things and smooth it over and I would “get over it”. Meanwhile it seems like they really just thought “wow, he is upset so I better be nice for a while or I will be in a lot of trouble”. And when they did that, they didn’t really pay attention to what I was saying… they were just paying attention to their own emotions of “I might loose this relationship if I don’t make things better right now”.
And then, something similar happens again… almost like they couldn’t help it. And I am shocked… and left thinking wow, this person does not understand relationships or take what people have to say seriously at all. They are kinda in their own world and is not capable to integrating with other people…because they will hurt them.
The video below answers a bunch of questions about this…including what to do about being in a relationship with a manipulator.
To get a better undrestanding of this stuff… Dr. George Simon has written a book (an affiliate link to the book is below)