I am a big fan of Dale Carnegie… and I have to admit, me just saying that has made me think about how I don’t like it when people are “fans” of some things. So, I am going to rationalize this thing as being a fan of something good is good and being a fan of something not good is not good.
Anyhow, back to Dale Carnegie. I have a friend with a business and sometimes I irritates me a bit that he seems to have sympathy for somethings where I don’t think he should. It seems like it holds him back from achieving a business goal or life goal some times. When this negative feeling comes up for me in those situations I was tending to think what he was doing is not what needs to be done…but I know I have to reflect on it more, cause maybe it was just me wanting some sympathy and seeing it given to someone else made me jealous lol. Only really after reading the Dale Carnegie book and coming accross a certain sentence in the book have I admitted that I was wrong in my thinking on my buddy having to much sympathy. And now I even realize that I probably love sympathy! wow. I finally admit it. Apparently this is a pretty common thing to love sympathy cause even in the book, How to win friends and influence people (affiliate link, if you buy this book, you will be supporting this blog) Dale Carnegie says “three fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them and they will love you.”
Being as I have a lot of respect for Dale Carnegie, because of reading his book, watching his videos, and from mentions by very successful people the two sentences above speak to me very load and clearly.
And this helps me to figure out what was going one when I have seen people not want to give someone sympathy, they reacted to the person expressing a need for it as an act of weakness. However, as I have learned, vulnerability is power, so maybe the people that didn’t want to give sympathy didn’t feel loved, didn’t know how to love, or needed sympathy themselves, or maybe they just felt helpless at the time. It seems to me, that it was something like that anyway.
So I guess I will have sympathy for the person that can not give sympathy as well and hopefully (fingers crossed) the would be a good way of leading them into a better way of doing things. And I have to admit, I was not much better myself when I didn’t like my buddy giving someone else sympathy cause I probably just wanted it myself too lol.
This has become a good lesson for me, and I look forward to being more sympathetic in the future, and see what happens from it!
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